Tuesday, May 30, 2006

waiting (or looking) for that certain someone

inspired once again by the blog of one of my friends, i decided to write this new entry. and to change the title of my blog at that.

it been three years, i think, since i lost the one i love. its probably entirely my fault. i kind of pushed him away until he fell for this other girl. we ended up going to the same school in college, which made it inevitable for us to see each other and talk to each other. i never really did let go of him, ive tried, i even forced myself to believe that i have. but deep down, i just knew that he is still there.

time came when i just coudnt take it anymore. i just needed to hear from him that he didnt love me anymore and he never wants to have a relationship with me besides the "friendship" that we have. and he did, he told me those things. painful? yes. but it was finally time to let go.

i think i did. had this sort of relationship with this guy. but it didnt last (literally), but it was ok because atleast i knew i can now muster enough strength to have a relationship with other guys. i didnt concentrate on that though. i just cant use a big part of my day looking for the next boyfriend. well, looking or waiting, whatever suits you.

i found the best way to forget someone though, the TV. i can honestly say that the TV is now my bestfriend, and besides books and the internet, the TV is the best source of info.

dont get me wrong though, im not totally blocking out the idea of having a boyfriend. i just dont want a boyfriend, i want a nice, sensible relationship with a guy who is inlove with me and im inlove with him. the words nice and sensible still need a lot of explanation but i want do it now.

but as what this friend of mine wrote in his blog "when the right person comes, she better be ready for a happy ending" or something like that. im just looking/waiting for that right person who will share with me that happy ending (or better yet, no ending!). maybe its him again, or maybe its some other great guy out there. i dont know.

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